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Boyfriend w Epilepsy and mood swings

Fri, 02/02/2018 - 15:16

Topic: Epilepsy: Insights & Strategies

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months. I knew he had epilepsy from the beginning. Things have been pretty good, normal new relationship issues but nothing too bad. After xmas he had a seizure, I was there, got him to the hospital and took care of him after. I knew the affects aftetward would be bad, he warned me. However, the last 2 weeks have been extreme and abusive behavior. He lashed out at me in public, said some awful things to me called me a piece of shit and a drama queen and said that he was done with me. He caused a scene so much so that waiters and guests tried to come up to me. He left when the food came and then proceeded to verbally abuse me. I stopped engaging. He eventually realized he did this all himself and created the drama in his own mind. I had literally done NOTHING. When he eventually apologixed, after saying he didn’t trust me and he was done w me, I forgave him and asked him to not do it again. He saw his therapist and seemed to get it, and I’m being patient. The last two days he’s been picking fights w me, blaming me for the fights and accusing me of playing the victim when I am unhappy with his passive agressive and abusive words and behavior. Today he refused to talk to me. I am at the end of my rope. I get the situation but if he’s going to attack me and scapegoat me for whats going on in his own mind thats not healthy for me or him. I have no idea what to do. I love him deeply but he’s pushing me away. Just here for advice.

Comments

When someone's behavior

Submitted by epihelp on Sat, 2018-02-03 - 16:14

When someone's behavior changes after they have had a seizure that was different than usual or they had a change in medicines or something like that, insist that he see his doctor treating the epilepsy. It may not be related at all, but best to check this out. If it's not due to epilepsy, seeing a primary care is important to rule out other sudden causes of behavior change. Regardless of the cause, a person should seek help from a counselor or mental health specialist. It's important to address all causes, find more effective and safe ways of coping. And everyone in a relationship should feel safe - if you are not safe, get help for both of you! Take care,,,,

Hmmm..How long has he had

Submitted by Ryanth1 on Sun, 2018-02-04 - 09:09

Hmmm..How long has he had epilepsy for? Are you both young? 14-18. Was he just diagnosed?. When i was diagnosed i pushed people away.Give him some space.Good luck.

My behavior was off many

Submitted by just_joe on Mon, 2018-02-05 - 10:13

My behavior was off many times when I was younger. I hated having seizures and rather then yelling at people around me I went out and tore things up. those things needed to be worked on but I did the same thing when I couldn't make it to my fathers funeral.If his medications haven't been changes in years there might be a possibility that that could be a part of the issue since a person can get toxic on a medication. Been there done that but it wasn't mood changes.epihelp does have a lot of information and right beside him is 24/7 help line which anybody can call that number is 1-800-332-1000

Hi, I really appreciate all

Submitted by Sweetkamie20 on Fri, 2018-04-20 - 16:23

Hi, I really appreciate all of the advice centered around helping him and I want to offer you something in addition. I am sympathetic to what it is probably like for your boyfriend to go through the long process of getting the treatment sorted out. I have been through that long process twice because I have epilepsy, too. But what I understand about your situation is that YOU need some sympathy, too! It is usually a long journey for the person with epilsepsy AND the people around that person. You may not be one of the people to walk him through this period of life. I stayed in a relationship with someone that was dealing with some serious things and, the truth is, I simply wasn’t able to provide the long term commitment that was needed to see him through. Picture long-term how you would hold up. Treatment for most people with epilsepy does not get sorted out quickly. And in the meantime it sounds like your spirit is being crushed under the weight of the burden. So, though I want your boyfriend to have what he needs, I get the sense that YOUR needs are growing, too and that is the recipe of a relationship that cannot be sustained.