Community Forum Archive

Boyfriend with Seizures

Tue, 11/20/2018 - 16:17
So, I'm not sure what to do and need advice. A bit about the circumstances: My boyfriend has brain damage, and has had it since he was young. We've been dating for about two and a half years now, and a few months into our relationship he had his first seizure, and has had them periodically since then (once a month or so, sometimes more, but always at night). It turns out he may have been having them for a while-as his previous roommate later told us they often heard him thrashing about and things. It took until recently for him to finally go to see a doctor about it and, as I suspected, they diagnosed him as having a seizure disorder. Unfortunately, he has other problems due to the brain damage so he was always against going to the doctor about it and had convinced himself it was just a weird form of sleep walking. The first problem is this: He, justifiably, isn't taking it well. He's extremely angry about it, angry at the doctors for diagnosing him, angry that his license is getting revoked, etc. So far he's only had seizures at night and pretty much thinks the doctors are over reacting because they "think" he might have seizures during the day sometime. At which point he flat out said he'd kill himself instead of having his freedom taken away. I don't know if he would actually do this or not. We've discussed it and he's told me he can't promise me he won't, but he'll think about it. Which is probably the best I can hope for with his current mood. Thankfully he's limiting his car use and is letting me drive him to work on the days I'm home when he is, since his license has been revoked and we can't afford the extra tickets he could get. At least for now. He only works a few minutes from where we live, and I've never seen kids running around, and the only people that I really see on that street are the other factory workers (who really only use the street for about ten minutes as they come and go to work) so if for some reason his seizures DO end up happening during the day his chances of hurting someone other than himself are limited. Other than working he mostly stays at home playing video games, which have never triggered anything other than typical video game related behavior. The second problem is he absolutely refuses to take medication. He was on medication when he was younger that had similar side effects to seizure medication (mood stabilizing drugs) that pretty much turned him into a "zombie" (as he put it). So he won't take it at all. I can certainty understand why he won't take it. It was my fault that he went in for the tests, and it was me taking the video of his seizure for his doctor. He's made snappy comments about how he won't ever go to the neurologist again because they always **** him over. Angrily ranted about how he doesn't care what the DMV says. I just don't know what to do. I want to help and support him, but I don't know how to work with all of his anger and resentment towards the situation without making it worse. Does anyone else have experience with a loved one in a similar situation? Any experience with nocturnal seizures? I've pretty much been the only one of us researching and trying to prepare for things, but I keep seeming to find the same two articles about nocturnal seizures and feel woefully under-prepared.

Comments

WelcomeI know about the meds

Submitted by just_joe on Wed, 2018-11-28 - 19:16
WelcomeI know about the meds and feeling like a zombie. Been there don that. However medications today are far better then they used to be. Technology has come a long way. People who have nocturnal epilepsy and seizures can and have had seizures t other times. Some have them a hour before or after sleeping. By sleeping it isn't just at night but also a nap during the day. Today his license may be revoked for a short period of time (6 months in most states)If he goes without a seizure. When I was trying to get a license the time limit was 2 years without a seizure. So the neurologists have changed many names of seizures and type of seizures. I am now 68 and have never driven.My boyfriend has brain damage, and has had it since he was young. My epilepsy is caused by scar tissue in the left lobes of my brain. That scar tissue was caused by a concussion bleeding in my brain. What cause the concussion was a fall when I was standing on the top rung of a ladder when it came out. My head hit the steel rung on the top bunk which spun it around and my face hit the rung on the bottom bunk. I had 4 teeth knocked out and slashed my tongue and the insured of my jaw. They had to put between 30-40 stiches in my mouth. So they weren't worried that much about the big bump on my head. He needs to take his meds as directed and keep a good relationship with his neurologist since they can do many things in calls. I called mine and we changed the dosage to a higher dose which reduced the number of seizure I was having. Another time I was having issues with a medication 30 minutes after taking it  I lost my balance. After a while I was back to being myself. We had to completely change my meds since I had gotten toxic on it after taking it or over 30 years. What would he have done if instead of being diagnosed with epilepsy it was diabetes, a heart ailment or any other disease that has to b controlled with meds? Oh and I know about heart ailments since I take meds for my A-fib. I hope this helps and he gets seizure freeJoe

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