looking for someone to listen

I have never talked to anyone other than my family about my epilepsy. I have really never admitted that I have epilepsy---I usually just say I am having trouble with seizures. That word sounds so foreign to me. I feel like my family thinks it is something that can just be automatically fixed by drugs and since that has not happened in my case they just do not understand what is wrong with me---I think they consider me lazy now more than anything else. I feel tired much of the time, I feel confused some of the time, I have lost much of my memory, I do not feel like going out in public and the most troubling part for me is that my ability to communicate seems to have been taken from me. Stress is a huge factor for me with my epilepsy. We have our own business. That in itself is very stressful. In Sept. 2001 my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. In 2003 my father had surgery for an aortic aneurism and then in 2004 he developed stage IV throat cancer. In 2004 my mother was put on full time oxygen therapy for COPD and needs my help for many things. I have three active children who are great kids. But as my Mom tells me even good kids can drive you crazy sometimes. My seizures started in 2004 when I really think my body and brain just could not take anymore pressure. I stopped working because I was looking for ways to reduce my stress. My husband is not really happy with this and has not really forgiven me for not working anymore. I just felt like it was all I could do to keep up with helping my sister and parents. My sister died on the 24th of October---I will never get over this. We were very close and talked everyday of my life. I miss her---she was my only friend in this world. My dad is in remission from his cancer (Thank GOD), my mother is still here with us and my kids are great---so there is much to be thankful for in my life. I just hate that the people I love most in life seem to think that my seizures are something that are under my control or can be treated with medication with 100% success. I hate that I feel less than I should because I do not feel able to work right now in my life. I have worked hard all of my life. I hate that my family thinks I am lazy because I need to lie down in the afternoons or because I feel like I cannot work right now. My husband seems to be drifting farther away from me. He has his own problems at work and I know my leaving left him with even more problems. I am sorry for this---but I really feel like if I did not cut down on the stress in my life I would not be here today. I had to do it. I was just reading some of the postings on this sight about memory problems to my mother---she said---don’t read too much of that or you will start getting those problems also. I told her I was grateful to find other people who were having the same kinds of problems that I was having. They made me feel like I was not the only person in the world experiencing these problems. Thanks for listening. I just wanted to tell someone how I felt and see if other people have experienced this kind of pressure from their family.