my experiences

Hi. Im Christine, Im 21, and I started having seizures in 2006. The first one happened in March, while I was in class. I had apnea (stopped breathing) and I started to tense up, but all of a sudden, it all went away in about 15-20 seconds and I felt normal. I didnt know this was a partial seizure, I thought it was stress. I just ignored it. Two months later, at the end of May, I was coming home from the mall when I noticed a painful/numb tingling starting on the tips of the fingers on my left hand. I ignored it until it started to creep up my arm, it was similar to pins and needles, but then I realized it was very different from that. It was numb when I touched my arm, but it started to become a paralyzing pain.... it went all the way up to my elbow. I freaked out, I thought I was having a heart attack, so I ran to the bathroom and shook my arm to get the blood flowing again. The feeling stopped at my elbow, and very slowly, started to subside. It completely subsided in about 5-10 minutes. Then I noticed I started to get a HORRIBLE headache, and I became very fatigued. I thought it was the heat, so I just took an advil, laid down, and felt better in a half hour. This experience however scared me, and I thought about it from time to time. ( i hear now that the arm tingling was related to my tumor ) A week later, while I changed into my pajamas when I noticed that my left arm became limp, and I wasnt able to move it. Once again....I panicked. But then my arm went back to normal in 15 seconds. I totally freaked out and had a panic attack from this up to a point till I nearly passed out...which didnt help. I didnt know what was wrong with me. And after that, I became agoraphobic....I was afraid these weird would happen in public. In August, I started to overcome my agroaphobia when one day, I took a shower... and I came out of the shower, and when I put the towel over my head, my upper body became paralyzed, and I had a blank stare for about 10 seconds. My legs started to buckle over, I nearly went unconcious and my breathing was shallow. I wanted to call my mom to ask her help, but I couldnt, I remember what was happening and I was aware of my surroundings, but I just wasnt able to move. But I regained normality in a few seconds. This was a petit mal seizure, but I did not know it. I tried to explain what happened to my mom and dad, but it was very difficult to explain.... so once again...stress was to blame. And the whole "youll get over thing". So I was in decent shape for another two months until the grand-mal in October. The scary one. This one happened during class, once again, it started with apnea (when breathing stops) only this time, everything came together. I became paralyzed, had a blank stare, and fell unconcious along with slight jerky movements my arms and legs afterwards, or so Im told. Next thing I know, I wake up and theres like 5 people screaming at me "Whats todays date?" and then I became a bit violent with the cops and told them to leave me alone (lol.) The ambulance experience wasnt nice either, I kept assuring them I just passed out, and they told me "No, you had a seizure." And my whole world seemed to collapse. So, after being sent to the ER and getting a CAT scan I was told I have a tumor... but when things became more detailed, they said it was a Cavernous Hemangioma (tangle of blood vessels) on the top right side of my brain, and that its an inch and a half in diameter, benign, and superficial(?). So that was definetly not the news I was expecting, but it sure did explain a lot. And I want that damn thing out. Im being taken care of really well though, Im on Dilantin and Lamictal, and Im set for surgery on Jan 25th. Im really nervous about surgery but I guess thats normal. So after this whole thing, two of my friends were inspired to go to the hospital and got themselves checked out too after having similar symptoms. (i know one of them had good results, im still not sure about my other friend) I felt so embarrased after having a seizure in public, but everyone around me (my family, friends, and and doctors) are very reassuring. So remember.......dont ignore what your body is telling you. I learned the hard way. And for every problem there is help :) And dont be ashamed!