Any other wife in the same situation have any tools i can use?

My husband has had siezures all his life that would come and go. When we first got together he never told me because he never recieved any diagnoses. Theyve started to come back about a year ago. He has partical focal onset siezures and latley has been having grand mal siezures. The first time he had one was at 4 in the morning almost a year ago. I had woken him up because i was having a panic attack in my sleep and he went completly belistic on me. This of course sent me into a fit of histaria and i had no idea what i had done wrong to make him act so mean. I also had no idea what was going on with him. He has one about 1 every 2 weeks. If he has them white were fighting he get very voilent physically, mentally, and sexually. He has called me all sorts of horrible names, slapped me, choked me to the point i see black, tried to suffocate me, busted my lip a few times, pinned me down and had sex with me while i begged him not to. Hes much bigger than i am so fighting back is very hard and also seems to make it worse. He wakes up the next day not having any memory of it but says he knows something bad happened. When i tell him what hes done he sobs and aplogises exscesivly. I know its the siezures. When hes not having one hes very kind and gental. I love my husband and i know he cant control it. I guess im just looking for anything i can say or do during these types of sizures that will help not just for me but for him to. He doesnt deserve to live in constand gult for something he has no control over. And im looking for a way to stop the abuse.