Just need to vent

Hello.I was laid off of work in May and now I am on unemployment and looking for a job, no luck yet. I have no health insurance to pay for my dr. visits or my medication. I have a seizure disorder and my primary dr. wants to send me to a neurologist plus I might have to go to a gastrenterologist for stomach problems and nausea that might be connected to my seizures. Right now I feel like I am in a hole with no way out. I can't afford to take my medication or go see a dr. for my condition and a part of me wants to say the hell with it all and get off my meds. Because I see no point in taking them if I can't get the help I need from the dr.'s I need to see. I tried applying for Medicaid but in my state, a person has to be disabled to get Medicaid and according to state law I am not disabled or in the right income bracket to qualify. I really hate this situation I am in right now. How in the hell am I supposed to get the medical help I need and take my med's if I can't afford it? I am really seriously thinking of getting of my seizure pills and stopping them completely. I know that it is dangerous to do that, but I have no choice. I hate taking the pills anyways cuz they make me sick all the time. A part of me is scared to get off the pills because I will have a seizure again and I hate how they make me feel after having one. The extreme headache, the stomach nausea, and the other feelings I have after a seizure. Sorry for this post, but I just had to vent and tell my problems and situation. Thanks for listening.