Drinking

Hi there,

My name is Anne. I am a college student who has been living with epilepsy since I was 13, and I am turning 21 in three days. I started to experiment with drinking when I was around 16 or 17 because all my friends were doing it. I thought it was cool until I had a seizure and lost my lisence for three months. I am a very independent person and I hate having to rely on others to get me from point a to point b, so I chose from there on out not to drink alcohol. I got through the rest of high school and the first two years of college just fine without drinking like all my friends were. My parents and a lot of people say that I'm "strong" for making that tough decision because basically everyone around me only thinks about alcohol. (Which is normal because I am in college after all, and I go to kind of a party school) What people don't know is that I'm absolutely dying on the inside. I just want to be able to get drunk like the majority of kids my age do, but I mostly just end up being a mom or the designated driver. I put up a front like it's no big deal, but it just keeps getting harder as I am going to be turning 21 so soon. Turning 21 is supposed to be the day that you get super hammered and don't have to worry about it being illegal. My 21st birthday is going to be just another birthday. Don't get me wrong, birthdays are fun, but this day that is supposed to be like a right of passage for me won't mean anything. I'm almost dreading my 21st birthday to be honest. I just feel so alone sometimes. 

Does anyone out there feel the same way? 

Anne