Epilepsy Has Given Me a Greater Purpose

Boom! Lightning struck inside my brain on Sunday, October 10, 2021, at 10:38 a.m. The forecast predicted high electrical neuron activity, but I was completely unaware. I saw light as I scrolled through Instagram, but then I hit my head on a lamp, and everything turned black. I suffered a tonic-clonic seizure, and for three minutes, I convulsed, drooled, and jerked. 

After being unresponsive for thirty minutes, the light flickered again, but I was inside an ambulance this time. I wondered, "What happened? Why were the paramedics inserting an IV into my hand? Where were my parents?" One paramedic knew I was frightened, and he calmed me down. 

When I arrived at the emergency room, I had no idea what was waiting for me through the sliding door. My surroundings looked blurry. My head pounded. My left arm ached when I tried to move it. I felt nauseous and confused. After ten hours of blood work, scans, tests, and waiting, I discovered what it was: epilepsy. I was shocked, worried, and terrified of what the future held as I tried to process what had happened. 

I returned to school a couple of days later. I was behind on my work and overwhelmed by my new routine. My classmates walked me to my classes. Emergency rescue medicine dangled in a red pouch from my backpack. Exhaustion and depression from the anti-seizure medications drained me. The fear of Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy (SUDEP) spiraled in my head. Epilepsy ripped away my independence and everyday life. Driving, playing volleyball, and twirling in color guard were suspended for the time being. 

However, when everything came crashing down, and all hope seemed to be lost, God blessed me with a miracle. At my neurologist appointment, the doctor cleared me to play volleyball and twirl in color guard. My teammates jumped for joy when I returned to the court. The crowd roared when I tossed the flag high in the air, and I ended the routine with a bright smile. Even though the fear of having another seizure lurked inside my head, joy prevailed. 

This experience has given me greater purpose and meaning. I have started to advocate for epilepsy awareness in my community. The Ohio High School Athletic Association and I are collaborating on a special project to spread awareness about seizure first aid. 

In addition, I am partnering with the Epilepsy Foundation to bring seizure first aid training and resources to my high school. I have organized an assembly, and with the help of a presenter from the Epilepsy Foundation, we will be sharing seizure first aid resources and skills in the health classes and at an upcoming staff meeting. Through educating my school community and sharing my story, I hope to help create a safe environment for all students living with epilepsy and help create a world free from epilepsy and free from fear of the next seizure. 

Every day I have a choice. I can let epilepsy define me and fear with a capital "F" have control of my life. I choose otherwise. I focus on the love from my family, friends, and community surrounding me, and I praise God for saving me and allowing me to live.