Never Lose Hope

I was just 9 years old when my world fell apart. I was the youngest in a car that crashed on June 7, 1995. My injuries were severe, and I was immediately sent to a pediatric intensive care unit, where I underwent intensive care and management. I suffered from an open compound skull fracture on the right, a depressed skull fracture on the left, cerebral contusion, status post cricothyrotomy, facial lacerations involving my lip, a laceration on my left forearm, right pneumothorax, and a pelvic fracture.

My parents did not survive the accident, and I didn't have anyone to support me. It felt like I only had blank memories and fragments of a distant past that I could not recall when waking up in the hospital. I only knew I shared a room with a girl named Karen as I tried to digest that my parents were gone. I have no prior memory of my life before, and I have often wondered since then, in the face of my ordeal, "Is this life a gift?"

Over the next month, I was moved to several hospitals for treatment and procedures, trying to stabilize and treat my extensive injuries. Eventually, I was sent to a rehabilitation unit for intensive occupational, physical, and speech therapy. At the time of discharge, I was diagnosed with seizure disorder, among other complications. 

The traumatic brain injury (TBI) I suffered created problems with communication and language. Everything seemed affected, from my memory to concentration to paying attention. Processing and understanding information, problem-solving, decision-making, reasoning, judgment, controlling impulses and desires, and patience were all difficult for me. Throughout childhood, I suffered from emotional disturbances, occasional aggressive behavior, anxiety, and mood disorders. I have also struggled socially and academically. 

Overcoming these challenges has not been easy, especially when I think of the car accident I went through. I often ponder the fragility of life and how it may be long or short. In time, I realized I had to accept my situation and stop comparing my life with other people. No one could be held accountable for my determination but me. Whenever I felt deprived of something, I tried to remind myself how grateful I was to be alive. 

I know someone out there will go through something very similar to what I went through or another difficult situation. It is important never to lose hope in humanity and to know that others worldwide have voices and feelings that resonate with you. Our shared experiences are what binds us together. In your suffering, you are never alone!