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Are They Kidding???
Sun, 12/26/2004 - 18:47I have now had two complex partial seizures and learned that I have "profound atrophy" on my left temporal and pariatal lobes. Are they kidding??? I am a professional military officer on active duty. I have been placed on a 12-month profile for no weapons, no driving, and no deployment. To make matters more complicated, I am stationed in remote region that does not have public transportation and I live 20 miles off post.
I am 28 years old with a ticking clock and purposely put off having kids to solidify my career. I was going to start trying in the next two years. Now I come across conflicting and disturbing research with regards to dangers to myself and my children on AND off medication. Is adoption the way to go?
I actually feel guilty for being angry about all of this. I know things could be ten times worse. I could have lost a limb or worse in combat. But instead of feeling grateful and thankful this past Thanksgiving, I felt confused, embarrassed, frustated, and resentful. Then I felt angry and guilty for feeling all of the other emotions.
I will gladly hear feedback/advice from others....
Samantha
Comments
RE: Are They Kidding???
Submitted by Karolwf on Tue, 2004-12-07 - 06:25
Samantha,
I was an active Army wife for over 20 years and had two children in the military while having seizures. With my first child I took Phenobarb and with my second I was on klonopin. Both children are healthy and are grown up- my son -my second child will be a daddy himself this summer. Accepting the disorder is the hardest part. I still have moments when I feel that I can stop this and be normal again -- but I know that I cannot. I understand your frustration and great disappointment in not being able to continue your military career which is really a life style you have come to know and enjoy. Not only has this illness taken control away from you it is now threatening to take your "life" from you. I want you to know that if you are unable to continue in the military you will always be military. It is always something that will be a part of who you are and you can always be proud of the part you took in it no matter how long it was. Accept that a new path is being opened to you . . perhaps you can go DOD and do something else connected with the "life" but do not let the seizures control you completely. You can and will enjoy life to the fullest and have children and still do things for your country-- just have to find a new creative way to do so.
Your anger and frustration is a natural reaction. Not being able to drive is devestating but that could be temporary if you are given the correct medication and the seizures come under control. I drove for a good part of my life with the disorder and never had an accident or episode while driving. I am 55 now and have to curtail a great deal of my driving but on good days I can drive myself to the store. A seizure disorder does not have to be the end of the world and the end of serving your country either. Samanatha-- think of it as TDY or a PCS to a new place in your life... a new challenge .. a new assignment.. a new mission.
Samantha,
I was an active Army wife for over 20 years and had two children in the military while having seizures. With my first child I took Phenobarb and with my second I was on klonopin. Both children are healthy and are grown up- my son -my second child will be a daddy himself this summer. Accepting the disorder is the hardest part. I still have moments when I feel that I can stop this and be normal again -- but I know that I cannot. I understand your frustration and great disappointment in not being able to continue your military career which is really a life style you have come to know and enjoy. Not only has this illness taken control away from you it is now threatening to take your "life" from you. I want you to know that if you are unable to continue in the military you will always be military. It is always something that will be a part of who you are and you can always be proud of the part you took in it no matter how long it was. Accept that a new path is being opened to you . . perhaps you can go DOD and do something else connected with the "life" but do not let the seizures control you completely. You can and will enjoy life to the fullest and have children and still do things for your country-- just have to find a new creative way to do so.
Your anger and frustration is a natural reaction. Not being able to drive is devestating but that could be temporary if you are given the correct medication and the seizures come under control. I drove for a good part of my life with the disorder and never had an accident or episode while driving. I am 55 now and have to curtail a great deal of my driving but on good days I can drive myself to the store. A seizure disorder does not have to be the end of the world and the end of serving your country either. Samanatha-- think of it as TDY or a PCS to a new place in your life... a new challenge .. a new assignment.. a new mission.
RE: RE: Are They Kidding???
Submitted by Jeremy on Mon, 2004-12-06 - 12:27
I do not know how a person can relate to this. I have been having complex partial seizures now for about 7 years. I am going nuts. This may sound sad to say but some nights I wish that I would not wake up. But one thing to remember. "You cannot change what happened yesterday, you have no idea of what is going to happen tommorrow, so what the hell. live your life day to day and hope for the best" I have a story to tell, one day I was driving to the bank with my brother. We were on the highway and I opened the door and went to jump out on the highway. My God can you believe what would have happened. But you have to look at things this way, you do not know when you go into the seizure, you don't know when you come out, so don't be afraid of what you are going to do when you are in a seizure, you will not know it anyway. Just keep on living your life the best you can.