Times are tough and opportunities are decreasing.

Hello everyone. This is the first time I talk about epilepsy with other people instead of my father. I became an epileptic when I was 17 years old. Although it was determined when I was 17 I was having symptoms as early as 16. My father is also an epileptic and told me at the time that it will go away. Believing in him I ignored the fact that it was getting hard to talk and I would stop and stare while talking. Then it started getting worse as I reached my 17th birthday. Still I ignored it and thought nothing of it. I was already registered for the military and was going through the process. When summer came my to start my junior year of high school, I was with my father in the back seat of his car dropping off my mother at her job. On our way back to my house, everything went dark. But before it did I told myself "Looks like I'm going to die today. God said it was time" then I woke up with blood in my mouth and on the freeway. I looked at my father who was pale. I asked him why we were on the freeway and then he told me I just had a seizure. I was still dizzy and didn't really understand what my father meant. My lip and tongue were cut from me biting down on them. I was then in the hospital and taken to a room. Then my mother came in. She left work after my father called her about what happened. I was crying because my head and body was hurting so much. My father was the one that was crying the most because the way I looked when having a seizure. My hopes and dreams came crashing down because I was kicked out of the military program. You know once you hit senior year they will ask you what you wanted to be after high school. Everyone had a plan but I was completely lost. Most jobs don't hire people with epilepsy. My parents were also over protective because they didn't want me to stress out about having a job. I am currently 21 years old and still lost. I have had more than 10 seizures in the past 4 years. That is way more than my father and he is 42 and he got them the same age I did. I am on keppra and lamictal. And they work wonderful. But to be honest sometimes I so depressed that I lie and don't take my pills. Just constantly taking them every morning and every night for the rest of my life just makes me feel hopeless. I wanted to be a police officer for the military. Since I wasn't able to be in the military I thought that the best thing was to become a police officer for the city of LA. I also messaged many police officers that come to my college and ask about becoming a police officer and they say I have to be controlled for at least 2 years and be medically accepted by the doctor of the police department. I still feel hopeless because I feel like the chances are very low. All I wanted to do in life is to help and protect the people of the United States. Being in the military was the first thing that came to mind and a police officer. I wanted to give blood as well to help others that need it but I can't do that either. I can't do anything. I try to keep a smile on my face for my family but as time goes by it's getting harder and harder. Any advice would be very much appreciated. I'm just a young 21 year old woman with crushing dreams. Thank You.