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Aura: Pre Ictal Fear. Any others Experience?

Thu, 04/14/2005 - 21:32
My epilepsy started out with only generalized seizures as compared to TLE's or temporal lobe epilepsy. I had a head injury from szing, injuring both sides of my head around my temporal lobes as well on my right frontal lobe. I've had an excellent recovery from all of that but was left with generalized and TLE seizures from those injuries. I mention this to state I was plunged into the world of simple partials or auras with TLEs. Before that happened I used to think, but not say, that people who "only" had simples were "lucky" but quickly changed my opinion once I started experiencing the bizarre world of TLE auras. The plunge has not been a fun swimming experience. I've read a lot of people's experiences with auras and even though I have intractable and very active epilepsy I haven't had many of the wretched sounding auras many describe. But I do have this one that actually has a name - Pre Ictal Fear or Before the seizure fear. It is SO unnerving to me...well where to go from that statement? It's unnerving but also very rarel occurrening for me, or was. Since last Friday, 4 days ago I've been plagued with the occurrence of pre ictal fear that sometimes hangs around for awhile and dissipates and sometimes leads into a secondized sz or convulsive sz. That too is unnerving - which way is this ball going to bounce.This is the way my pre ictal fear aura presents itself and from what I've read my experience is "typical" but reading a clinical description is not like reading the experiences of those who have suffered through it and that is what I'd like to know about. I've been having this blasted thing hitting me repetitively like I'm in the cross hairs of it since last Friday and it's getting very old, very unnerving, and today I'm very exhausted emotionally and physically from it. My doctor prescribed sedative type drugs which helped, then didn't, increased those, which helped, now today aren't helping. I keep thinking this siege is over, then I get another pre ictal fear aura. Anyway last Friday morning I was typing an email on my computer about something mundane, nothing else was going on to provoke this and as fast as like a lightening strike - I experienced the feeling of adrenaline rushing fear or a very sudden and strong flight or fight feeling. There's another underlying additional feeling to it too, maybe it's a feeling of impending doom. I'm not sure. I'd like to know too but I'm so overwhelmed by this inappropriately occurring feeling of panic and fear, I can't concentrate on anything else. I'm consumed by it but I am for awhile at least totally conscious, cognitively intact, able to move, but the first time it hit on Friday it continued, didn't go into a seizure then. I rarely call my doctor to report any type of sz activity any more. I dont because for just me I have emergency medicine at home orally and in injectable form that usually takes care of clustering, averts other dangerous sz activities and also because frankly I have a lot of sz activity and I'd be on the phone constantly. I've accepted sz events and to me it's just a part of my life, as opposed to being my life. There's no point to calling my doctor unless I'm clustering out of control and can't stop it or something similar. But this was so uncomfortable, I felt certain I was heading for a serious sz, very certain which increased this severe fear feeling and I was alone which also increased the feeling. I called my doctor asking for help/advice. Her nurse noted I was having difficulty talking and I noticed my cognition was intact I think but extremely slow. I would guess by the time I made that call it had lasted maybe 1/2 hour, a guess. The best way I can describe fight or flight for me are the few times in my life I have come within a hair of being in an auto accident at high rates of speed, once a semi truck jumped the medium strip and was coming straight at me and I had the fight or flight feeling then. IOW situations had all the makings of a serious auto accident sure to occur, but I escaped by a hair and after I did escape being hit, realizing I was safe, a gigantic shaking feeling of fear would overwhelm me, a huge adrenaline feeling surge, leaving me feeling shakey, heart pounding, immobilized for a few minutes. That's as close as I can describe for me fight or flight or the feelings of pre ictal fear aura.I'd like to know if anyone reading this post has experienced this coming straight out of the blue, as an aura. If you have, can you share your experiences? For instance how long it lasts, if you've had this do you tend to cluster with it as I'm doing now, do you have it infrequent in occurrence like me, does it usually lead to a secondized seizure, how do you handle this horrible feeling, or anything anyone would want to share.The first time I experienced this was about 4 years ago. I had it 3 times in one day. I would guess the aura lasted a few minutes and later I found myself on the floor. The aura had progressed into a drop sz. Then I went about 1.5 years not experiencing it again but I swear of all the epileptic "events" I've experienced this is one of the ones I remember distinctly each time I've had it and dread having another but right now I'm still having them multiple times a day and it's really worn me out. I've noticed too that although I've been posting in the last few days? I'm leaving words out, making other typing errors yet I feel cognitively intact but apparently my "record is skipping". All to say I feel cognitively intact but am I? That little personal internal question isn't pleasant either. This has also left me with a pounding migraine of which, referring to the thread I started about wanting a Purple Heart for the physical pain of having epilepsy, I was so very fortunate to receive ONE pill for this pounding relentless migraine and it was very hard for me to not tell my doctor where she could plant her one pill - but I'm getting nasty after 4 days of this and one pill is more than zero pills. But I got that ONE pill last night and this is this morning and my headache is back. I'm feeling nasty physically and in my temperament.Has anyone experienced this and if so, could you share with me your experiences? Thank you.Gretchen

Comments

RE: Aura: Pre Ictal Fear. Any others Experience?

Submitted by mexican_fire on Thu, 2005-03-17 - 16:13

My auras are pretty close to what you just described with that rushing fear that comes from nowhere.  My heart races and I sweat.  I think I have to run somewhere, but I know I can't, because there isn't a reality reason to.  I get that feeling of impending doom.  I just get a feeling that something isn't right or that something is about to occur, but can't put my finger on what it is.  I also get a smell, as well.  Rotten urine.  I have lots of these seizures/auras.

I usually get one everytime I seize or when ever it wants to do it.  I had a total of 52 while in the EMU.  They vary.  That is the aura, but my SPS are usually of the Jacksonian march type starting in my right fingers--->right hand--->right forearm--->right upper arm--->right sided face involvement--->upper leg--->lower leg--->foot--->toes, most of the time it goes so fast, I really can't tell what it is doing.  but, I have had these most of my life, and it has changed some through the years, but not alot, but because I have had this epilepsy type so long, I am able to ID where things are going/progressing.

I also have another type of epilepsy that is been discovered with in the last 5 years called Adult Myoclonic Epilepsy.  It has many of the same features as JME.  Just in adults.  Adults don't have as many Absences as the kids do when they get theirs.  The age of on-set range is between 25-45, and I started getting the signs and symptoms at 26, and they caught it in the EMU last March when I was 30, because I had a major Myoclonic seizure while in there.  It has MYOs, TCs, and Absences.  I have trouble with the Grand Mals.  I throw some very severe ones.

Nancy

My auras are pretty close to what you just described with that rushing fear that comes from nowhere.  My heart races and I sweat.  I think I have to run somewhere, but I know I can't, because there isn't a reality reason to.  I get that feeling of impending doom.  I just get a feeling that something isn't right or that something is about to occur, but can't put my finger on what it is.  I also get a smell, as well.  Rotten urine.  I have lots of these seizures/auras.

I usually get one everytime I seize or when ever it wants to do it.  I had a total of 52 while in the EMU.  They vary.  That is the aura, but my SPS are usually of the Jacksonian march type starting in my right fingers--->right hand--->right forearm--->right upper arm--->right sided face involvement--->upper leg--->lower leg--->foot--->toes, most of the time it goes so fast, I really can't tell what it is doing.  but, I have had these most of my life, and it has changed some through the years, but not alot, but because I have had this epilepsy type so long, I am able to ID where things are going/progressing.

I also have another type of epilepsy that is been discovered with in the last 5 years called Adult Myoclonic Epilepsy.  It has many of the same features as JME.  Just in adults.  Adults don't have as many Absences as the kids do when they get theirs.  The age of on-set range is between 25-45, and I started getting the signs and symptoms at 26, and they caught it in the EMU last March when I was 30, because I had a major Myoclonic seizure while in there.  It has MYOs, TCs, and Absences.  I have trouble with the Grand Mals.  I throw some very severe ones.

Nancy

RE: Aura: Pre Ictal Fear. Any others Experience?

Submitted by Gretchen on Fri, 2005-03-18 - 00:08
I probably should have no real "need" to post this but - I want to. FINALLY I got through A DAY without pre ictal fear. YEAH YEAH YEAH. I won a battle (I hope this really is the end). I know I haven't won the war but winning this battle that has lasted nearly a week? Works for me right now.Maybe I just ran out of adrenaline tho? Ya think?Gretchen

RE: RE: Aura: Pre Ictal Fear. Any others Experience?

Submitted by pongosmommy on Fri, 2005-03-18 - 00:12
Hot Damm oops can i say that here?You go Girl!Good for you Gretchen!

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