I CAN'T TAKE THESE SEIZURES ANYMORE

Hi MomWithLove, How special to read your post ! Both my 22 year old daughter and I have epilepsy. She was diagnosed at age 9, and has never been fully controlled. She suffers from tonic clonic seizures. She is 5 months pregnant right now, and has seizures about once a week, sometimes less. Although this seems like a lot, it really is less than prior to her pregnancy. I can certainly understand the pain and suffering you go through, watching your beloved daughter. I share your pain, and also wonder what will happen when her Dad and I are no longer around to help her? Jessica is going through a divorce, so her husband will be no big help. We do have 6 other wonderful children, and I know that when the day comes, if Jessica needs them, they will be there. Jessica does have some developmental delay, but should be able to live somewhat independently at some point. Right now, she just wants to be home with mom and dad, and of course, it is where we want her too. I'm glad to hear your daughter had the VNS implanted, and hope it continues to work for her. I had the VNS implanted 2 months ago, and so far, have had no difficulties. I'm not yet up to the voltage that should help to control the seizures. I'm also hoping that it will help with the depression. Thanks so much for sharing your story! It means a lot to hear that others care ! ((( hugs ))), Barbie *************************************** "We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can fly only by embracing each other." -lucian de crescenzo

Thank you, very much. I don't know anyone with a similar situation. I don't have any epileptic friends that are around me locally. Online only. And that is just when i'm working and have access to a computer. I can't get disability, they said I don't have enough Grand Mal seizures every month. I get them when i'm ovulating, for about a week straight, then i'm a zombie for about a week straight. So for half the year, i'm nothing to the world and can do nothing to help my world. But, the state says I can still work 30 hours a week answering phones as a telemarketing representative, pay half of my weekly paycheck to my daughters dad for child support and still live a real life. Yeah, right. I did have my daughter after we divorced 5 years ago, until I had a seizure while driving, then I decided to give her dad physical custody. I didn't want my medical problems to become hers. Like crashing with her in the car, or having a seizure while watching her or taking care of her by myself. Life has not treated me kindly. My boyfriend is busting his butt taking care of us and sometimes I don't know if I should just leave and make it easier for him. We've been together for 3 years now. He's wonderful. Never complaining, always taking care of me when I have an episode, always telling me to stay home if I can't work and that health is first. He works 50 hours a week, at a paper mill, with split shift hours, a different shift every week, 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. Rotating each week. He's just wonderful. But, I feel like a piece of sh.. I can barely work enough to pay child support, yet alone pay for my share of our expenses. I make the meals and take care of the house and him, when I am not having seizures, but I always wish I could do more. I am getting so depressed because of it. I see him doing so much and feel like I don't deserve him. And I hate not being able to do anything to stop this crap. I tried to be a good person and help others and be happy and bring good karma to the area where ever I may be. Now I am always sad and never know what to do to bring myself back to a happy feeling. Just because i'm Epileptic. Thanks to whatever gave me this problem. -Kelly