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Question on dating with E.
Fri, 09/29/2006 - 04:56Topic: Women With Epilepsy
My cousins down here have been texting me on my cell phone telling me that I have passed another birthday and I should get a boyfriend now and get married. But, here's my question.....how do you trust a man to date when you have epilepsy? It's not so simple for me to just find a man down here in the Philippines and start dating. Maybe in romance novels it could work, but there's just so many issues for me to overcome.
Besides that's a big responsibility on a man to take when he hears about E. I don't want to see the reaction like I have before when I told men I've dated in the past that I have E. They did a complete turn around in behavior. They started to treat me like I'm fragile. I don't want that. I'd like to have some kind of normalcy.
Comments
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Question on dating with E.
Submitted by seizuregirl on Mon, 2006-10-02 - 04:40
I moved to the Philippines 'coz I wasn't happy in the states with my job so I thought a change of scenery would be nice. I have relatives that lives down here, but I don't see them much 'coz I'm always busy. I only stay down here every 6 months for my job then go back to the states for a month or two then come back again.
You know, being a U.S. citizen...I'm not allowed to stay in a foreign country over 6 months. So, I travel a lot from the states to the Philippines. Guess, you can say...if I get sick of the Philippines I can go back to the states and then come back again when I get sick of being in the states. LOL I still have a house in the states. My sister is living in the house I lived in so there's always a place for me to go to when I go back home to U.S.
As for that guy you were talking about in your post...definitely his loss. You know...some guys are just plain insensible. Once,
I heard a guy (who was in my childhood friends' group of friends) say in front of his other friends when I was a teenager at a pool party that "oh she has the body, too bad not the brains". If that isn't the most insensible thing ever to say. OMG! I couldn't believe what I heard. Needless to say I stopped being friends with my childhood friend. How else could that guy come up with such a comment if my friend hasn't poisoned his mind? I don't know why I never bothered to slap that guy in the face back then. What was I thinking? My childhood friend, back then, always thought she was smarter than everybody and I hated her for being such a braggart. I had to be friends with her 'coz our families are friends with each other.
Now, if I met up with that guy and if he remotely said something to me about seizures...nothing on this God green earth would stop me from decking him. LOL
Seizuregirl
"Life is what you make of it"
Re: Question on dating with E.
Submitted by GodivaGirl on Sun, 2006-10-01 - 17:55
Sorry, gotta disagree with the people in here.
While I've been with the guy I'm with for 5 yrs & we're common-law (anniversary coming up Oct 13). When I was single, I was always upfront pretty much during that getting to know you phase.
I'd tell a guy - oh ya, I'm epileptic which means you may/may not see me have seizures, this is what you do medically and totally means I'm not into the club scenes because I don't drink alcohol, I don't drive, other than that it doesn't change who I am. Present it to them like it's a disease, then ya, you'll be their "fragile" doll not their girlfriend. Make light of it, and make it a sideline issue that doesn't consume your life, and then so will the guy your with.
Some guys ended things right then.
My boyfriend now is there during the seizures, he reminds me to take my meds, he comes to my neuro appointments, other than that we just live life.
Way I see it, being epileptic is part of who I am.
It's a package deal, if people can't handle it, screw them - better off to find out up front than 2 months in when I actually kinda like someone.
Even with friends.
I'm honest. Lying and or hiding the truth gets you no where.
~ Erin
Re: Re: Re: Re: Question on dating with E.
Submitted by louielou on Sat, 2006-09-30 - 12:45
Thanks for answering. How are you?sounds like you have alot to deal with day to day. What made you move to the philippines? I know you said you work there. I can see why it would worry you about people dating you for a ticket to the U.S. I'm from the U.K. and even over here it's an issue being so hard to get to live in your country. As far as the bloke who made the 'joke' i take great pleasure in the fact that he tried to get in touch with me through a website seeing if i was still interested as he wanted to meet up. Sadly for him i'm now married but it was great turning him down!His loss! xxx