Question on dating with E.

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My cousins down here have been texting me on my cell phone telling me that I have passed another birthday and I should get a boyfriend now and get married. But, here's my question.....how do you trust a man to date when you have epilepsy? It's not so simple for me to just find a man down here in the Philippines and start dating. Maybe in romance novels it could work, but there's just so many issues for me to overcome. Besides that's a big responsibility on a man to take when he hears about E. I don't want to see the reaction like I have before when I told men I've dated in the past that I have E. They did a complete turn around in behavior. They started to treat me like I'm fragile. I don't want that. I'd like to have some kind of normalcy.

Comments

Re: Thank you spaznurse for

Submitted by seizuregirl on Tue, 2007-06-19 - 02:26

Happy cat and everyone, Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic. I haven't been on here in a long while. I have such memory problems. Still trying to deal with it. I had a lot of seizures/auras this month that my brain feels fried. Am going to see a new doctor to help since my old doctor wasn't of much help to me. Cat, I can really relate about epilepsy carrying a worse stigma than any other disorder. I've had a hard time with my seizures in the states concerning work. Normally when I try to find a job...I wouldn't get the job due to my seizure disorder. I thought it was good to say it upfront. I'm always afraid that they will find out and fire me anyway. But, of course, they will always say some other excuse for being let go. I've been through it many times. At one job, I was having so many seizures that my boss was going to fire me. I could hear it in her tone. She would say it in a different way... some pschological mumbo jumbo to make me want to quit. Eventually I did quit 'coz I didn't like how I was being treated. Here in the Philippines, I quit another job for how I was being treated. My seizures has escalated and the doctor that I was seeing wasn't being of much help to me. It's tough enough having to deal with society and family on this issue, but to have your doctor fail you as well.........very depressing. Speaking of depression....I have that also as well as anxiety. Being a complex seizure patient is a headache. I keep wishing for a magic wand so I can change my life for the better. Has anyone found one anywhere? I tell you I'm on an emotional roller coaster a lot and its devastating for me when people in my life always blame me for my emotional outburst. It would be great if all of them could help me out by going to an epilepsy support group. If others were able to learn more about epilepsy then they would be more understanding and stop making me more emotional than I already am with their hurtful comments. Seizuregirl "Life is what you make of it"

Hi seizuregirl. Thanks for

Submitted by happycat2 on Fri, 2007-06-22 - 01:09

Hi seizuregirl. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and updating us on how life has been and is for you. I guess that folks that don't deal with seizures on a day to day basis, or cope with the issues-such as memory loss that seizures bring? They just don't understand what's important to us. That is.... Life is what you make of it for sure, and coping with memory loss and adjustment are just part of the problem. Sounds as if thru your life you have learned that lesson well and been put to the test. Along the way learning a few things you might not have wanted too.... No wonder you have felt on an emotional roller coaster, and have felt devastated. How in the world could you not do when lack of understanding, no willingness to learn was shown at the efforts you put into your work. Or at least not as appreciated as it should have been by those closest to you over the years. No wonder you wanted a magic wand. Understandable. So is the feeling of being blamed for something you know is another person's emotional outburst and they are being less than mature in handling that. At times, people transfer their issues into others by hurtful comments â€” more is the pity. Talking helps, and is so easily forgotten in the world today. Something you have found out by your own efforts. For sure by less than understanding doctors and neurologists has been my experience. That's why support groups are such a great idea for talking over issues and learning about epilepsy! Hang in there, stay positive and upbeat-it helps. Cat. "Many false prophets are gone out into the world." 1 John 4:1

Re: Hi seizuregirl. Thanks for

Submitted by seizuregirl on Fri, 2007-06-22 - 09:34

Thanks, Cat, for the kind words! :-) You really put a smile on my face. I wonder if you could voice that out to all those people who has such negative comments over us seizure patients. I keep thinking that if they could suffer what we have for just one month, then maybe they'll be more understanding. I tell you that I could defend myself till I'm blue in the face, but all of it will just go over their heads. They don't care...they just blame blame blame and put me down always. Makes you wonder why a lot of us starts to feel so suicidal, huh? Very sad isn't it? I'm only one person and I can't seem to make at least a dent on these people who are so closed minded. Seizuregirl "Life is what you make of it"